Sleepwalking Weirdo: Part II

The following account is real. These are actual events, retold to the best of my ability, and with my wife's help.

I am not making this up.

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Tracy and Gene's bedroom - 12:20 a.m. All is quiet. Moonlight streams through the windows. Olivia and Little Eugene are sleeping in their bedroom across the hall. Tracy sits up in bed and nudges Gene.

[Tracy] "Eugene, wake up."
[Gene] "hmm..." (sleepy)
[Tracy] "Eugene, where are the babies?"
[Gene] "hmm?...I don't know."
[Tracy] "Are the babies in bed with us?"

Gene begins to wake up, realizing what's happening.

[Gene] "Tracy, the babies are in their room. Go back to sleep."
[Tracy] "You mean the babies aren't in bed with us?"
[Gene] "No, they are not." (annoyed)
[Tracy] "Well, if they aren't in bed with us, then why did you tell me you didn't know when I first asked you? Hmm?" (accusingly)

Gene sits up in bed and looks at Tracy.

[Gene] "Maybe because I was asleep? (mildly annoyed) Tracy, you're having a dream. Go back to sleep." (somewhat understanding)

Tracy begins poking her hands under Gene's body.

[Gene] "Stop that! (loud whisper) Do you think I'm hiding the babies from you? You are having a dream. Go back to sleep." (very annoyed)

Tracy rolls over without another word. Gene lays back down to sleep.

Ten minutes pass. Gene wakes up to see Tracy looking under his side of the bed.

[Gene] "Tracy, what are you doing?" (matter-of-fact)
[Tracy] "Nothing." (nonchalant)

Tracy walks to her dresser and puts a shirt on, pretending that's the reason she got up. Gene watches as Tracy stands, hands on her dresser, slowly stepping out of her dream and back to reality. An understanding smile from Gene and Tracy, embarrassed, slips back in bed.

Sleepwalking Weirdo

The other day I read this blog post about co-sleeping. Co-sleeping, for those of you who don't know, is when parents let their children sleep in bed with them. I think the reason is mainly to get the kids to sleep through the night. I don't know, because we don't do it. The kids have slept pretty well on their own. Besides, it's kind of icky. But, that's not the point.

The point is it reminded me of a dream I had the night before. Actually, I was sleepwalking. But I dreamt about co-sleeping. It was kind of like a co-sleepwalk.

In the middle of the night I got out of bed to use the bathroom. When I came back I left the bedroom door open. Tracy asked me to close the door.

"In a minute, honey. We have to put Little Eugene back in his crib," I told her.

"What are you talking about?" she asked me. "He is in his crib."

"No, come on. Hand him over. He's not sleeping in our bed anymore," was my reply.

"Eugene, our son has never slept in our bed. You are having a dream. Go back to bed." she told me.

"What?" I said with a pause, finally coming to. I slumped back into bed.

The next day I e-mailed Tracy to apologize for waking her up the night before. This was her reply:

Hi Eugene. Actually, you woke me up three times last night thinking there were babies in the bed. The first two times it was Olivia and then the last time (when you got up to go to the bathroom), you thought Eugene was in bed with us. I couldn't believe it - especially since you were up and walking around! :) I think we have switched roles!!

Love you,
Tracy

This really was a role reversal. You see, Tracy used to do this on a regular basis. For months after the babies were born, she'd sit up in the middle of the night and start shoving me out of bed. Then she'd frantically feel around on the covers trying to find the baby, who wasn't there. Being that she was a new mother, I tried to understand. But between you and me, I always thought it was a little weird.

Now I'm the weirdo.

Add that to my list of groups I previously thought only others belonged to:

• Idiot Drivers
• Unfit Parents

and today...

• Sleepwalking Weirdos