Lessons for a New Dad

Every week brings a new lesson. Like the lesson of bath day. This is a hard-and-fast rule that cannot be broken. It doesn't matter if the kids are dirty. They get bathed every two days.

The way I see it, their heads and tails get cleaned at every feeding and diaper change. The rest of their bodies are covered, for the most part. And it's not as if they have really messy activities. They aren't helping me dig the new sidewalk. But, if it's bath day, they get a bath, dammit.

I've also had an expansion of my vocabulary with words like "binkie" and "onesie" and "poopy". These are not just fun new words. They also have meaning. Take, for example, the word "sleeper". This refers to the gown that the kids sleep in. One afternoon Little Eugene and I met Tracy at the pediatrician's office. She was surprised that he was still in his sleeper.

"Has he been in his sleeper all day?" she asked.

"Well, yeah," I said.

"Eugene, sleepers are only for sleeping!" she whispered as her eyes scanned the waiting room, hoping no one overheard. "This is so embarrassing," she said.

"He sleeps most of the day anyway," I said. "You know if I didn't have to come down here to meet you, I'd still be in my pajamas, too."

"Eugene, you have a lot to learn," Tracy said.

"I guess I do, honey," I said.